It's Over

I think I knew it would end this way but held out hope.  I went back to the doctor on Monday and then played the waiting game all day until they called me back just to tell me that my levels had dropped and now I would be monitored until they dropped back to ZERO.  The good news is I will be getting poked less but the bad news is that I lost the baby!  Someone told me that grief comes in waves and boy were they ever right!  I can be fine one second and a blubbering mess the next!  I am, however, going to survive because I have to take care of my family!

Here is the deal for me:  I am amazed by how badly I wanted this SURPRISE baby!  No, we were not planning on a third child but when it happened we got excited!  I know I am old but come on, babies are gifts from God no matter the circumstance!  I mean if I had actually planned my kids, they would probably not be here!

The very worst part for me was explaining it all to the Diva who was more than excited to be a big sister!  Explaining that the baby is in heaven with Papa was tough!  She still talks about her little sister!  She was sure it was a girl!!  LOL!  I used the illustration of Waterbugs and Dragonflies to explain it to her!  I have had the book since the Moody Teen was about 5 and have used it to explain death to my children many times over the years!

On a happier note:  The Diva and I will travel to the Windy City to The American Girl store on Tuesday with a group from church (we rented a coach bus)!  She is so excited!  She will get a new baby, we will lunch and shop until our feet hurt!!  I cannot wait to take her up in a skyscraper because the other day she was at the doctor (on the 2nd floor) when she climbed up on the bench, looked out the window and declared, "Wow, I can see the whole world from here!"  I laughed so hard I thought I would pee myself!  LOL!

I am taking my camera in my beautiful new camera bag that I built my outfit around to capture all of our adventures!  The best part is that I don't have to drive so when the day is done and I am exhausted, I will be able to chill on the ride home!  Well friends, consider your self up to speed with life from the middle of a cornfield!