Here I Am!

Well, life has certainly been a winding, twisting road lately and things have been happening faster than I can comprehend so I had to step away from blogging until I could get things figured out and process everything that has gone on recently!

I am feeling fine but still dealing with issues from the miscarriage!  I will be OK but I really want my body back!  LOL!  Emotionally speaking my faith has gotten me through the tough stuff and I am doing fine with that aspect of things!

My clients have been awesome and very patient as I have taken longer to process sessions and get prints to them!  I have the best clients in the world!  Since I really have not shared any photos with you lately in my rants and rambles, I thought I would share my latest Senior session with you to prove that I am here and I am still being a productive member of society!  LOL!  So here is Krista:

Is she not gorgeous?  It was 100 plus degrees and I was dripping with sweat but she was a trooper and looked great!  I have more Seniors coming up including my own Moody Teen!!  Yup, he got a hair cut today so next week he will take center stage!!

Win A Memphis Get Away!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of Memphis Travel. All opinions are 100% mine.

Are you looking for a fun summer get away? I highly recommend that you head to Memphis, Tennessee where you will find something for everyone in the family to enjoy! I have always loved the South and Memphis is the perfect get away! You will find everything from Graceland, the home of Elvis to some great music on Beale Street! The Memphis-savvy travel guide can help you plan the perfect trip for your family!  Go to the site and check out some sample itineraries to help give you an idea of everything that you could enjoy on your get away!  Personally, I love Beale Street and all the music that fills the air!  Second on my list would be the wonderful Southern cooking!  The wonderful aromas of cornbread and collard greens will tickle your pallet and I promise you will not be disappointed with that friendly hospitality!! 

Now what if I told you that you could enter to win a trip package for you and your family?  Would that make it even more enticing?  Best of all, if you are one of the weekly winners, you get to chose your package so you are not locked into a package that does not fit your needs!  There is a package for families, couples, singles and singles and friends!  What are you waiting for go plan your Memphis get away and enter to win your very own trip!

I am Trying!

I really am trying to be everything to everyone and I am discovering that it is NOT possible because, in the chaos, I am suffering and neglecting myself!  My goal for today is to say NO to the things I do not consider to be a vital part of my life, health and mental well being!  Will it be tough?  Absolutely!  But I will try and, hopefully, succeed!

So if you call me for a favor and I politely decline please know that it is nothing personal!  It is just my way of getting back to myself and the person I really want to be!  Now I really want a margarita (I don't drink on a regular basis)  so I will be relaxing on a beach (in my mind) with said drink and Carlos the cabana boy rubbing oil on my back!!  Later folk!

Buy Generic and Save!

This is a Sponsored Post written by me on behalf of PBM Products. All opinions are 100% mine.

Who does not look for ways to trim the family budget in times like these?  I know I do but I am also picky about the way things taste!  I don't care what the container looks like or if there is a popular character on the front, only that the product tastes good and is a good value!!  Are you confused about what generic products you should check out?  Let me take the guess work out of it for you by giving you this guide that contains 10 Products to Always Buy Generic I think it will help you get started!

The list includes items like over-the-counter medications, cereal, pantry staples, soda, gas, makeup and beauty items, batteries and salad mix and produce!  There is one product that I want to point out that can really help you save and keep your budget in tact and that is  store brand formula!  I know it is easy to look at the name brand formulas and think that they are better for your baby, however, that is a misconception that most of make!  Did you know that baby formula is regulated much like the medicines that we purchase?  By paying $13 more per can of brand name formula you are paying for just that, the name!  Yes, it's true!  All infant formulas are regulated the the FDA and must all meet the same high standards so it does not matter the name on the front of the can!  Next time you go to the store, look at the name brand and the store brand formula and compare the ingredients.  I doubt you will see a difference if any!

Do yourself and your budget a favor, check into some generic brands!  You just might like what you find!

It's Over

I think I knew it would end this way but held out hope.  I went back to the doctor on Monday and then played the waiting game all day until they called me back just to tell me that my levels had dropped and now I would be monitored until they dropped back to ZERO.  The good news is I will be getting poked less but the bad news is that I lost the baby!  Someone told me that grief comes in waves and boy were they ever right!  I can be fine one second and a blubbering mess the next!  I am, however, going to survive because I have to take care of my family!

Here is the deal for me:  I am amazed by how badly I wanted this SURPRISE baby!  No, we were not planning on a third child but when it happened we got excited!  I know I am old but come on, babies are gifts from God no matter the circumstance!  I mean if I had actually planned my kids, they would probably not be here!

The very worst part for me was explaining it all to the Diva who was more than excited to be a big sister!  Explaining that the baby is in heaven with Papa was tough!  She still talks about her little sister!  She was sure it was a girl!!  LOL!  I used the illustration of Waterbugs and Dragonflies to explain it to her!  I have had the book since the Moody Teen was about 5 and have used it to explain death to my children many times over the years!

On a happier note:  The Diva and I will travel to the Windy City to The American Girl store on Tuesday with a group from church (we rented a coach bus)!  She is so excited!  She will get a new baby, we will lunch and shop until our feet hurt!!  I cannot wait to take her up in a skyscraper because the other day she was at the doctor (on the 2nd floor) when she climbed up on the bench, looked out the window and declared, "Wow, I can see the whole world from here!"  I laughed so hard I thought I would pee myself!  LOL!

I am taking my camera in my beautiful new camera bag that I built my outfit around to capture all of our adventures!  The best part is that I don't have to drive so when the day is done and I am exhausted, I will be able to chill on the ride home!  Well friends, consider your self up to speed with life from the middle of a cornfield!

I Am Not A Total Slacker!

Just because things are not going well for this pregnancy does not mean I have been a total slacker this past week!  There were Seniors and babies who needed photo shoots and so I pressed on!  Here is Hayley, she is a thespian and a singer!  What a talented girl!

Anyway, I had another blood draw done this morning and should know the levels by noon or so which will tell me what I need to do next!  I am just tired of the roller coaster that I am on right now and I either want it to be over or to be able to get excited!  Either way I will be fine!  Just pray I get answers soon!

If you want to see more of this shoot you can hop on over to my photoblog!

Update

I know the title is not original but right now all of my originality is used up and this really is just an update on where I have been and why!  My pregnancy took a turn on Sunday when I started spotting and has sent me on a roller coaster ride that is far from over.

Sunday, the doctor on call was not worried and told me to call the office on Monday morning so I did.  They got me right in and did a couple of ultra sounds and they could not find a baby or a sac or anything so they wanted to do a blood test to see what my HCG levels were doing!  When I got the results back that evening they were 290 and they scheduled me for Wednesday to have a second level done. 

Tuesday was tough with heavier bleeding (just like a monthly cycle) and cramping!  I thought for sure I was having your garden variety miscarriage!  Wednesday, I went in for another blood test and then waited for the results.  Keep in mind I have clients and obligations that are going on during all of this so I put on a happy face and went on!  When the doctor finally called me Wednesday evening, I was getting ready to photography 96 kids ranging in age from 0 to 4!  I was hoping to hear that the numbers had gone down but they went up to 309 which is not normal!   If the pregnancy was viable they should have at least doubled in that 48 hour period!

That brings me to today!  Something is not right and so I go to the doctor at 1:30 Central time to discuss a possible ectopic pregnancy which may require surgery!  My emotions are off the charts today!  I am scared and sad and in a general funk!  This is all amplified by the fact that the person who says he loves me is being less than supportive of me while I sort this out!  I feel so alone but I have to keep moving because my kids need me and someone has to be there for them!

Please just bear with me through all of this!  I will keep you posted as best as I can!

Just Venting!

OK, so I went to the doctor on Thursday and they did nothing but review my chart!  For this I had to drive to the office?  OK, so they did a urine test and took my weight (bleh) too but the rest was a joke.  I figured since I am old and not sure about when I conceived that they would help me figure that out with an ultra sound but NOOOOOOOOOOO!  They are making me wait until the 26th!  I could go insane by then, really I could!  They did, however, get me in next week to do a glucose test since I had gestational diabetes with the Diva and my blood sugars are already acting wonky (my favorite word right now)!  You would think high risk (age) + high risk (gestational diabetes) would = get her in here know so we can monitor her!!  In all fairness, I do have to tell you that there are two practices in the area that deliver babies so I am limited in my choice unless I want to drive an hour!  Sigh.............sorry, blame it on the hormones or as the Knight calls them horrormones!  LOL!

This N That!

It was a fairly busy weekend around here, well sort of!  Saturday I went to the store which made the family happy then I just hung out on the deck!  Sort of!  I was actually forced onto the deck because I was making eggs when the doorbell rang and I got distracted (blame pregnancy brain) anyway when my guest left, I walked toward the kitchen to find it engulfed in smoke!  Yikes!  I left the plastic spatula on the pan!  The smell of burnt plastic was horrible so I had to open all windows and get a fan to clear the air!  I was coughing and gagging, it was bad!  Great excuse to be outside!!

The Diva swam in her pool while I chilled most of the day!  Then I had an evening photo shoot with two very cute kids one of whom I am now calling bolt because every time I clicked the shutter he would take off at a full run!  Needless to say, I was exhausted when we were done!  LOL!  Next was a trip to the lake to visit friends and watch fireworks from the boat!  It was a beautiful evening and I loved it!  Including my hilarious daughter who had a conversation with a 2 year old that went something like this:

Diva (to a 2 year old in a bikini):  My mommy has bigger bras than you!

2 year old:  (blank stare)

OK, the adults within hearing range were in stitches!  It really was funny!

Sunday was church and then another afternoon on the deck before going to our local fireworks show!  It was fun but the Diva was tired and so was I.  Today I am in laundry and edit mode so I will be sharing with you soon!

My first Dr. appointment in Thursday and I am getting a little antsy!  I really do not like the first trimester at all!  I am a worrier by nature and I worry until I can feel the little one moving!  I am thinking about renting a fetal doppler like I did with the Diva so I can hear the heartbeat myself and hopefully relax a little!