Monday, February 9, 2009

Mental Chaos

Some days my thought process is much like today's photos, abstract and chaotic and other days I am very level headed! All of the chaos of life in the recent weeks has worn me down and I am beginning show in physical symptoms such as cold sores and giant zits! Carma to me right? Could it be a payback from discussing my husbands ginormous zit in the blogosphere?

I really think I just need a vacation on a tropical island somewhere to relax and get my bearings but there is really no time for that at this time. Since the vacation is not an option, I would settle for a day at a spa to relax and be pampered since I am the one who is usually pampering others. You see, I am the care giver and the one people look to in order to make things better and I am pretty good at putting others at ease because I truly care for others ahead of myself but who cares for my well being when I need to recharge?

I am not allowed to be sick or tired or to take a day just for me because my responsibilities are never ending as many of you moms (and dads) can attest. Before the little one came along I would go to the spa once a month but daddy does not trust babysitters and so there are very few, OK two people that we can leave her with that he would trust and they are not always available due to the fact that they have lives too! So right now chaos is ruling my brain and that is where the photos today come from.

Photo one is done on very low light and hand held hence the blurry look but when I downloaded it, I kind of liked it because I can relate to it on a personal level! Photo number two is a macro of the same wooded roses put through some color enhancing software that made the leaves look neon which I liked because that is how my brain would look if they did a scan these days with the neon representing my synapses that are firing all the time because my brain doesn't have much time to shut down these days.

On a good note: My Father-in-law is coming home today! He is much better but still terminal! Pray that we can talk him into getting his affairs in order.

Pray for my Brother-in-law Dale who is in the hospital in Colorado. They thought he had a heart attack but have ruled that out and they still have no clue what the problem is!

As for me, life will continue on and I will keep doing what I do best, which is care for others to my own detriment! Sorry for the rambling rant but I do feel better now!


I am Harriet said...

Hi Jo
Hang in there.
Hopefully, the weather should help your spirits.

Rhonda said...

Just wanted to send a big cyber hug and lots of positive thoughts your way. Sorry to hear that things are not going well for you. It will get better! The photos you shared were great, by the way!

Michelle said...

Awww, you poor thing. You have way to much going on. I hope things start to improve a little bit in your life soon. Sounds like you do need a nice vacation. I'm sending big hugs out to you today. You need one. I love your photo's very cool. Thanks so much for your sweet comments today. Talk to you soon.

Lin said...

Aw, hon, it WILL get better. It has to! I know how hard it is to be the mom, to give your all and then give that extra that was all yours. So, there's nothing left for you, emotionally, physically, or financially--we all share your pain. Nobody knows better than another mom. Consider yourself hugged and comforted....

I'm glad to hear that your father-in-law is at least coming home. That should help everyone a bit.

I'm saying an extra prayer for the family, and YOU in particular. I wish I could grab you and take you with me to Florida for a girl's weekend.

Love to you....

Memories Of Mine said...

I declare it International Care Givers Holiday.

Your family must attend to your need today :)

I hope things pick up for you.


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